[ The waves lapping at the shoreline become the background to his thoughts. Waiting for the dead on the Farther Shores, while the world keeps spinning, Shouto stares out to sea, unable to sleep when the text pings through.
He looks down at it and is immediately transported to that day. His vision wasn't wrong, he was. He'd lost control. Attacked with bladed ice. He still remembers all that blood luminescent like the moon, pooling on the ground around Allen. He saved his brother, and in return, he'd been conscripted to a terrible end. Heavy of heart, even the sapling's tranquil aura is unable to lighten the load. Or the nightmares.
While dodging his past thoughts, Shouto stares down at the message with no idea how to answer. In the end, he decides to go with the simple truth. ]
[ The video function turns on from his side. He comes into view looking distant and tired with black bags under his eyes. Water clings to his hair from a recent April shower. He's outside. On a black-veiled beach. The sound of waves crashing on the shore is audible in the background.
He's quiet, his expression holding the same neutral tone, yet his eyes hold a haunted look with such pain and loss it carves itself into the core of his being. ]
... I don't know.
[ His voice is barely above a whisper, but it's solid with no cracks or fissures. ]
[oh. viktor immediately turns on his own video function, trying to keep the frown off his face though his brow furrows faintly, worry along the creases of his eyes.
oh indeed. he can guess that this means two things- that allen returned to the sea or that he died. both are... not ideal. both come with a lot of feelings viktor places in a box because todoroki looks like
well. the look in his eyes is alarming, to say the least.]
You're on the Farther Shores now? I'm on my way. [at least to get the kid an umbrella or blanket or something because that's something he can do. because he's almost positive it's what allen would want.]
Did he- has he returned to the sea? [he asks as he starts moving to head out.]
[ Quiet, barely above a whisper. His throat is at least working this time instead of the warbled mess it'd been before. He's been there for days now. Tim crying. Kizu watching over both of them. He tries to keep himself calm so she can focus on the little omen who needs her more than him. So, he stays near the sapling whose peaceful aura keeps his darker thoughts at bay along with his corruption levels. Even still, he feels no peace, only a lessening of the ache in his chest.
The question brings memories to the surface. The smell of ash in the air, its taste in his mouth. Even inside the sapling's sphere of influence, the sorrow burrows deeper. ]
[viktor needs a moment there, makes sure his soft sigh isn't heard by the omni. so allen died- is that worse or better than going back to the sea, he wonders? he runs a hand over his face and compartmentalizes it all once more into a neat box, refocusing on the practical.]
I want to, Todoroki. I'll be by soon.
[and then he goes to packing his bag with what he needs, mouth in a grim line as he tries not to wonder what happened, how it happened, or any other number of unpleasant questions.
he makes it to the farther shore eventually, using rio to brace himself rather than risking his crutch in the sand. there's plenty of area to search but when he does finally find todoroki he pauses, taking in the sight of him with a pang in his chest before moving forward.]
I know you're probably not very hungry but I brought something for you to eat. [he starts with as he approaches.]
[ His words go unanswered. There's none he can give that would mean anything. Does he want him to go? No. Will he stop him? No. Does it matter if he's there? No, again. It won't stop the hurt, even Kizu can't stop that. So, he waits like he's been waiting for Allen. Only this time, he knows he'll be there soon.
When Viktor approaches, he'll find Todoroki has moved back to the cherry blossom tree. A large snow leopard lounges across a thick branch. She watches his approach with keen eyes, tail flicking behind her, but doesn't interfere. Near her, perched on a small branch is Tim who isn't crying at the moment, or taking refuge near the large cat. He's quiet, looking out to sea, waiting.
Shouto sits at the base of the tree looking out to sea too. His thoughts have settled since their conversation, the sapling's tranquil aura seeping into his mind enough to make him seem less tormented even if the bags under his eyes tell a different story. He hears him make his way across the black sand with his omen in tow. When he finally reaches him, he makes no effort to greet him, only shaking his head at the offer of food. ]
[yeah, what he expected. viktor glances to tim, a pang in his chest and rio's head tilting in concern before he focuses on the practical. he assumes leopard must be his omen, which would normally fascinate him but... yes, maybe not right now.
he lowers himself to the ground a few feet away, rio curling around to support his back as he pulls out a bag of dried fruit and nuts regardless.] Then I will put there here for when you are, or when you can stomach them.
[he's trying not to fuss, or be overbearing, or any number of things. in truth he isn't used to having people to fuss over like this, has very little practice in what is acceptable and what is not. even less in the nuances of grief. in the undercity grief was a part of life to be hidden as a weakness. in piltover it was unseemly.]
You are welcome to tell me to eh, to 'bug off,' as it were. I would prefer to stay but I am more concerned with your wants at the moment.
[ Normally, Kizu wouldn't be out and about, preferring to stay inside her Sleeper but the aura of tranquility coming from the cheery tree has its effects on everyone, including his omen, who doesn't feel the need to hide. She knows Viktor and trusts him enough not to interfere in the conversation, though her eyes remain on him and his omen, not so sharp but observant.
Meanwhile, Shouto is silent, the calming aura affecting him too. For one, the guilt that should be overwhelming is a slow and constant pulse in the back of his mind. His grief too. The one that almost overwhelmed him at the beginning allowing corruption to take root is also minimized, but the pain is still there, he's human, after all, and even a sacred tree can't remove that.
Here, among the cherry blossoms, he's stable at least and able to sleep a little without his nightmares taking root. It's only when he patrols the shorelines to help new arrivals that his thoughts grow dark and the nightmares startup if the sampling's effects aren't given enough time to clear the air before he falls asleep.
He, at least, looks at where Viktor sets the food. He's not starving himself, he knows he needs to eat and does so at regular intervals even when he's not all that hungry. His quirk requires a lot of his energy, so he often needs to eat and sleep, taking regular naps to offset the demands of his biological needs, but he hasn't been using his quirk that much lately.
He also appreciates that he doesn't fuss. Most heroes are fiercely independent, and while he's not as bad as some of his friends, he is taking care of himself. Otherwise, Kizu wouldn't stand it. It's odd, though. The comparison of Piltover and the Undercity. In a way, heroes and villains were similar, and he was very much a Piltover resident in that regard. Only he doesn't care about the social implications of his grief, nor does he think it's a weakness. He simply doesn't know how to express himself from a lifetime of being gaslighted by his father.
His fingers dig into the black sands at the offer. He's conflicted on the matter. On the one hand, he doesn't want to take him away from his work. On the other, despite always being alone, he doesn't always like it. ]
[the agreement makes viktor's lips quirk almost invisibly, a touch of relief. he doubts there's much his presence can do and there's next to nothing he can say that will be meaningful, but it is a more active approach than sitting around the lab or bunker, wondering about what happened.
and he does wonder but has enough sense not to ask. if he had to guess he'd imagine allen did something dangerous to help someone else and lost his life for it. that is the allen he has come to know, an admirable quality until he dug down to the concern for just how little regard allen sometimes gave himself. 'heroes,' he often wonders if todoroki might have similar inclinations.
to him they are so young, too young for this. even in the undercity where growing up quickly is required, he never thought that was the ideal. part of changing the world is allowing it to be a better place than he left it, kids having a chance to be kids. teens not having the world on their shoulders.
he makes himself somewhat comfortable, a soft sigh and resting back against rio as he says,] Thank you. I brought a blanket too, if you are cold.
[ It's the first time someone has tried to comfort him outside his circle of friends from home. Right now, it's too much for him to appreciate the effort. Later, when he's more in accord with himself, he'll thank him, but for now, he's a little numb to the world and cold to the touch.
The movement brings his thoughts back to the present and his eyes shift to the man and his omen, white and pink, with scales running down their back. He's never seen a creature like that and yet it seems to suit him. He stares at the omen outright, the influence of the sacred tree soothing the grief to tolerable levels allowing him to function, despite the grief harboring inside. ]
I'm not cold.
[ He can withstand temperatures far greater than what the sea can throw at him, but he'll take the blanket anyway. ]
But I think... Allen will be when he gets back.
[ And he's sure he'll be back. Why else would Tim be out here waiting? He doesn't want to leave the little omen alone or have his Sleeper wash up with no one to help him through the process. He's heard there's a price to pay when you die. It's a little different every time so he's prepared for it. There's a camping backpack tucked beside the tree. Viktor would have seen it on his approach, he'll add the blanket to the supplies he's already gathered. ]
[that's a good enough reason to turn and pulled the blanket out, the thickest one he could find in the bunker. he hopes pal doesn't mind- he doubts it, he's already vented to the man about allen's death and palamedes is nothing if not willing to help people who need it. it means when he makes sure it's folded properly and hands it over to todoroki he isn't the least bit concerned about it being missed.
he's never seen a sleeper come back before, wonders if it's like when they wash up on shore. that skates too close to thinking about allen dead and he boxes it away swiftly.]
Then keep it for that. If he needs anything you can let me know and I'll find it. [since he assumes todoroki isn't going to be keen on leaving his side.
he goes quiet for a moment after that, grimacing when his lungs give a tell-tale twinge. wonderful, just what he needed right now. he grabs a rag from his pocket and begins hacking into it, wet and unpleasant sounds he can't swallow back down to try and spare the teen from having to sit through it.]
[ Taking the blanket is a mechanical move on his part. If Viktor manages to get too close to him, he might notice a coldness emanating from him. It's not just the tranquility of the cheery blossom keeping his emotions at bay but the sweeping curl of winter smothering up the hurt. With his quirk activated like this, it doesn't hurt as much, and it's easier to sleep, even if he's covered by a layer of frost come morning. It's better than the alternative.
He sets it beside him, tucked neatly on one of the larger roots, so the black sands don't get it on. ]
I'll let him know you brought it.
[ He says as if there's no other possibility. Allen will return, and he'll need a blanket. He'll also need his friends and likely a doctor, and Shouto isn't a trained doctor just a Hero with a bit more medical training than most. ]
When he comes back, can you check on him? I don't know what kind of death price he'll have but he likely needs to see a doctor.
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no subject
He looks down at it and is immediately transported to that day. His vision wasn't wrong, he was. He'd lost control. Attacked with bladed ice. He still remembers all that blood luminescent like the moon, pooling on the ground around Allen. He saved his brother, and in return, he'd been conscripted to a terrible end. Heavy of heart, even the sapling's tranquil aura is unable to lighten the load. Or the nightmares.
While dodging his past thoughts, Shouto stares down at the message with no idea how to answer. In the end, he decides to go with the simple truth. ]
I saw him a few days ago.
I'm waiting for him now.
no subject
[viktor. oh bud.]
no subject
He's quiet, his expression holding the same neutral tone, yet his eyes hold a haunted look with such pain and loss it carves itself into the core of his being. ]
... I don't know.
[ His voice is barely above a whisper, but it's solid with no cracks or fissures. ]
I don't know when he'll come back.
no subject
oh indeed. he can guess that this means two things- that allen returned to the sea or that he died. both are... not ideal. both come with a lot of feelings viktor places in a box because todoroki looks like
well. the look in his eyes is alarming, to say the least.]
You're on the Farther Shores now? I'm on my way. [at least to get the kid an umbrella or blanket or something because that's something he can do. because he's almost positive it's what allen would want.]
Did he- has he returned to the sea? [he asks as he starts moving to head out.]
no subject
[ Quiet, barely above a whisper. His throat is at least working this time instead of the warbled mess it'd been before. He's been there for days now. Tim crying. Kizu watching over both of them. He tries to keep himself calm so she can focus on the little omen who needs her more than him. So, he stays near the sapling whose peaceful aura keeps his darker thoughts at bay along with his corruption levels. Even still, he feels no peace, only a lessening of the ache in his chest.
The question brings memories to the surface. The smell of ash in the air, its taste in his mouth. Even inside the sapling's sphere of influence, the sorrow burrows deeper. ]
We... I... cremated him.
no subject
I want to, Todoroki. I'll be by soon.
[and then he goes to packing his bag with what he needs, mouth in a grim line as he tries not to wonder what happened, how it happened, or any other number of unpleasant questions.
he makes it to the farther shore eventually, using rio to brace himself rather than risking his crutch in the sand. there's plenty of area to search but when he does finally find todoroki he pauses, taking in the sight of him with a pang in his chest before moving forward.]
I know you're probably not very hungry but I brought something for you to eat. [he starts with as he approaches.]
no subject
When Viktor approaches, he'll find Todoroki has moved back to the cherry blossom tree. A large snow leopard lounges across a thick branch. She watches his approach with keen eyes, tail flicking behind her, but doesn't interfere. Near her, perched on a small branch is Tim who isn't crying at the moment, or taking refuge near the large cat. He's quiet, looking out to sea, waiting.
Shouto sits at the base of the tree looking out to sea too. His thoughts have settled since their conversation, the sapling's tranquil aura seeping into his mind enough to make him seem less tormented even if the bags under his eyes tell a different story. He hears him make his way across the black sand with his omen in tow. When he finally reaches him, he makes no effort to greet him, only shaking his head at the offer of food. ]
I'm not hungry.
no subject
he lowers himself to the ground a few feet away, rio curling around to support his back as he pulls out a bag of dried fruit and nuts regardless.] Then I will put there here for when you are, or when you can stomach them.
[he's trying not to fuss, or be overbearing, or any number of things. in truth he isn't used to having people to fuss over like this, has very little practice in what is acceptable and what is not. even less in the nuances of grief. in the undercity grief was a part of life to be hidden as a weakness. in piltover it was unseemly.]
You are welcome to tell me to eh, to 'bug off,' as it were. I would prefer to stay but I am more concerned with your wants at the moment.
no subject
Meanwhile, Shouto is silent, the calming aura affecting him too. For one, the guilt that should be overwhelming is a slow and constant pulse in the back of his mind. His grief too. The one that almost overwhelmed him at the beginning allowing corruption to take root is also minimized, but the pain is still there, he's human, after all, and even a sacred tree can't remove that.
Here, among the cherry blossoms, he's stable at least and able to sleep a little without his nightmares taking root. It's only when he patrols the shorelines to help new arrivals that his thoughts grow dark and the nightmares startup if the sampling's effects aren't given enough time to clear the air before he falls asleep.
He, at least, looks at where Viktor sets the food. He's not starving himself, he knows he needs to eat and does so at regular intervals even when he's not all that hungry. His quirk requires a lot of his energy, so he often needs to eat and sleep, taking regular naps to offset the demands of his biological needs, but he hasn't been using his quirk that much lately.
He also appreciates that he doesn't fuss. Most heroes are fiercely independent, and while he's not as bad as some of his friends, he is taking care of himself. Otherwise, Kizu wouldn't stand it. It's odd, though. The comparison of Piltover and the Undercity. In a way, heroes and villains were similar, and he was very much a Piltover resident in that regard. Only he doesn't care about the social implications of his grief, nor does he think it's a weakness. He simply doesn't know how to express himself from a lifetime of being gaslighted by his father.
His fingers dig into the black sands at the offer. He's conflicted on the matter. On the one hand, he doesn't want to take him away from his work. On the other, despite always being alone, he doesn't always like it. ]
You can stay... if you want.
no subject
and he does wonder but has enough sense not to ask. if he had to guess he'd imagine allen did something dangerous to help someone else and lost his life for it. that is the allen he has come to know, an admirable quality until he dug down to the concern for just how little regard allen sometimes gave himself. 'heroes,' he often wonders if todoroki might have similar inclinations.
to him they are so young, too young for this. even in the undercity where growing up quickly is required, he never thought that was the ideal. part of changing the world is allowing it to be a better place than he left it, kids having a chance to be kids. teens not having the world on their shoulders.
he makes himself somewhat comfortable, a soft sigh and resting back against rio as he says,] Thank you. I brought a blanket too, if you are cold.
no subject
The movement brings his thoughts back to the present and his eyes shift to the man and his omen, white and pink, with scales running down their back. He's never seen a creature like that and yet it seems to suit him. He stares at the omen outright, the influence of the sacred tree soothing the grief to tolerable levels allowing him to function, despite the grief harboring inside. ]
I'm not cold.
[ He can withstand temperatures far greater than what the sea can throw at him, but he'll take the blanket anyway. ]
But I think... Allen will be when he gets back.
[ And he's sure he'll be back. Why else would Tim be out here waiting? He doesn't want to leave the little omen alone or have his Sleeper wash up with no one to help him through the process. He's heard there's a price to pay when you die. It's a little different every time so he's prepared for it. There's a camping backpack tucked beside the tree. Viktor would have seen it on his approach, he'll add the blanket to the supplies he's already gathered. ]
no subject
he's never seen a sleeper come back before, wonders if it's like when they wash up on shore. that skates too close to thinking about allen dead and he boxes it away swiftly.]
Then keep it for that. If he needs anything you can let me know and I'll find it. [since he assumes todoroki isn't going to be keen on leaving his side.
he goes quiet for a moment after that, grimacing when his lungs give a tell-tale twinge. wonderful, just what he needed right now. he grabs a rag from his pocket and begins hacking into it, wet and unpleasant sounds he can't swallow back down to try and spare the teen from having to sit through it.]
no subject
He sets it beside him, tucked neatly on one of the larger roots, so the black sands don't get it on. ]
I'll let him know you brought it.
[ He says as if there's no other possibility. Allen will return, and he'll need a blanket. He'll also need his friends and likely a doctor, and Shouto isn't a trained doctor just a Hero with a bit more medical training than most. ]
When he comes back, can you check on him? I don't know what kind of death price he'll have but he likely needs to see a doctor.