swellter | INBOX for deercountry

[ Harmony. The tea caddie is perfectly balanced as it's placed a few feet from Allen's setup. Respect. Shouto sits down, seiza style, pulling up his sleeves to expose his forearms. Purity. Fire runs across his hands burning any contaminants before he sets to work. Tranquility. The act itself is a focused affair. His movements flow into one another from one task to the other, unhurried. A touch of the clay pot and the water steams briskly, never boiling. With his mind at rest, the tea is whisked with the delicate addition of steaming water to thin out the bitter taste.

They work in unison. Side-by-side. Absorbed in their own tasks, at least for his part. Unlike Tim, Kizu is absent as she has been lately. Shouto hasn't noticed when he can feel her, pulsing with life inside of him. She's started to wander on her own more, further and further away, learning to track. It's given her a different presence when she makes herself known. More focused, less playful.

When he's done, he passes Allen a cup and sets down a small bowl of sugar near him. Despite his outward appearance, he's not a stickler for tradition. He takes what he likes and discards what he doesn't, reserving his judgment of others based on what they do, not how they do it.

He settles down with his own cup, watching Allen from behind it before his eyes drift to his omen. ]

How do you say Tim's name?

Edited 2022-12-08 07:07 (UTC)

[ Allen's noticed that Kizu hasn't appeared as much lately—possibly because of his boots not being chewed on like they had been. Possibly because it's something Timcanpy pays very close attention to, and how the golem would enjoy playing with her. He hasn't said anything about it yet, just filed it away with the quiet concern he's had since he spoke to Shouto about it at Ochako's birthday party, but will soon. If he thinks that means she's becoming who she was before.

Truth be told Allen is a touch distracted; he likes to watch Shouto and the flicker of flame at his periphery snags it fully and settles on his hands as he works. Just in a quietly curious, reflective manner he tends to get whenever he uses his quirk so easily and normally for everyday things. Though maybe it's also for the almost melodic way that he moves when he's doing this.

Lenalee was always so elegant and precise when she made tea too. Perhaps that's part of being very good at tea—or something shared by those who like to brew it. ]

Eh? [ He blinks slightly at that and looks up from, yes, his fourth spoonful of sugar he's ladled into his cup. Tim looks up directly at Shouto too, like that surprised him a little as well, though he grins widely a moment later as if approving of the question. It takes Allen a moment, unsure what he means, until he recalls.

Ah. That first time in the catacombs. ]

You mean 'Timcanpy'?

[ Little by little, she's withdrawn. Coming out less and less. Playful still but in a more muted manner and becoming more so every passing month. In turn, Shouto has become more distracted, lost in thought, when around Allen. More affectionate too. While one retreats, the other casts a larger shadow in direct opposition.

He nods at the question, focused on the way his mouth moves. ]

Can you repeat it?

Slower this time.

Edited 2022-12-08 07:40 (UTC)

[ Oh. You really want to know how to say his full name properly? That's...

Eyes brightening quietly at the realization, Allen gives a nod and draws his ankles up to sit and face Shouto in a more attentive manner; quite serious. Tim shuffles a bit on the table, watching them both, and seems excited by the turn of events. ]

Tim—caahn—pee. [ yep. said so straight-faced. ]

[ Names have meaning and it wasn’t until recently that he felt the urge to know his. ]

Tim-kon-pee.

[ No… that doesn’t sound the same. A second try. Slower this time. ]

Tim-cahm—

[ Backtracks. ]

Tim-cahn-pee.

[ Oh, so close. Allen's patient and watches his attempts with an encouraging, mildly curious sort of smile as he works through each attempt. He's Into this, okay; he loves all things Timcanpy and it isn't a joy he gets to share much. No one ever tried that hard to get his name right, after all.

...Then again, most people he knew didn't struggle with it, but that's besides the point. Or actually—makes it that much more meaningful. It's very endearing. ]

Mn! [ There's a sparkle in his eyes when he gets it though, and Timcanpy signals success by wagging his wings repeatedly in a pleased manner. Allen gives a small singular clap. ] Like that!

[ His smile gentles though the sparkle remains, warm with intrigue, and Timcanpy takes flight to drift near Shouto. Circling around him in a very inquisitive manner. ]

What made you want to learn it all of a sudden?

[ Shouto still tries to sound it out. He keeps going, not stopping at one but says it again. Over and over as if afraid he'll forget if he doesn't memorize it now. With a serious face, he sounds out a fourth 'Tim-canpee'. A little faster in his pronunciation. ]

Tim-canpee.

[ He looks at Tim, the sound of his voice growing stronger; surer. ]

Timcanpee.

[ Is that better? He asks without uttering a word, eyes focused on Tim with the sort of single-minded focus that's familiar to anyone who's watched him long enough. ]

Timcanpe.

[ Do you think it's okay. ]

Timcanpy.

[ If I use... ]

Timcanpy.

[ Your given name? ]

Timcanpy.

Edited 2022-12-09 03:30 (UTC)

[ Oh...

By the third attempt, Allen's expression just becomes so... quiet. Amazed, really, in an understated and awe-touched manner where he realizes something important is happening even if he doesn't really fully understand what that is. Timcanpy does too, pausing to hover directly in front of Shouto as he continues to sound out his name. Again and again. He locks eyes with him, even if the little golem has none that are visible, but he manages to make the impression of doing so very seriously. With a somber kind of intensity, like he's peering straight through into Shouto to see what he's actually saying.

Allen's speechless, honestly, just in watching the two of them and how it plays out. Hands cupped around a mug of tea he's forgotten about, a part of him has to wonder just why--

--why is this so endearing...?

With the final and smoothest pronunciation of his name, Tim holds his unblinking stare for a long, measured moment. Like he's evaluating Shouto and weighing the true measure of his soul. Very serious, very solemn... until he dips forward. Very lightly, soft as a butterfly in a breeze—

And headbutts Shouto's cheek very lightly, his body oddly warm and just a touch squishy. Like a happy dog asking for pets. ]

Edited 2022-12-09 03:50 (UTC)

[ Shouto holds his imaginary gaze pressing on with his venture. He's not afraid of the reception his attempt might receive, he's afraid of not attempting it in the first place. Of never knowing the form of his name.

Timcanpy...

He leans forward with his hands clasped in front of him looking less of a hero and more his age. His shoulders grow tense as he faces off against Tim's measured gaze.

What do you see?

He feels the urge to touch him. Just once. And his nails dig into the inside of his palms to contain himself, but the abrupt headbutt nearly startles him. He falls forward, completely blown away by the faint flutter of butterfly wings on his cheek. In one quick hit, Timcanpy manages to bring him to a standstill, utterly and completely caught in his orbit with no idea of what to do with a stray puppy. ]

Do you... want something?

Edited 2022-12-09 04:34 (UTC)

[ It isn't just a headbutt, but a series of happy mechanical chattering sounds that he makes as he snaps his teeth together and nudges Shouto's cheek a second time. Fond and a little insistent. And Allen—

At first he's a little stunned too—even if he shouldn't be, Tim's always been gregarious and friendly with others. But for a moment that just... he blinks, feeling what's almost like a small jolt, but he catches himself quickly and pushes that aside at Shouto's confusion. Which, well--

He brings a hand up to cover his mouth lightly, a polite reflex to hide how much he's smiling at that. ]

Hold up your hands. [ He brings his own up and holds them together in front of himself to demonstrate. ] Like a platform.

[ The burst of sound has his eyes widening by a fraction. It feels like he accidentally set off an avalanche without a single ounce of remorse for it. He leans forward, awed by the little nudge against his cheek.

Do you want me to...

Allen fills in the blank and Shouto turns in his direction, a hint of reluctance in his eyes. Not at the idea but at the notion that he's allowed to. Deep in his heart, where his omen watches everything unfold, Shouto feels a rare form of nerves take hold of him. ]

Are you sure?

[ He questions, only moving his hand as directed when Allen answers in the affirmative. Then, slow as a new bloom, he brings his hands together before turning them 90 degrees so one hand is on top, creating a flat platform. ]

Like this?

[ Mismatched eyes seek Allen out, looking to him for instruction. For permission. ]

Edited 2022-12-09 05:13 (UTC)

I'm sure. [ Completely so, and he answers easily and warmly because of it.

Maybe it's because he still views Timcanpy as Timcanpy, as his beloved other half who's always been with him since he was a small child, instead of an omen. But then, even if he was fully swayed he would still answer the same. Not just because of his own trust and feelings, but: ]

Tim wants you to.

[ Just that. It really is just that simple.

Shouto's not holding his hands entirely like Allen does, he cups his together more, and he about to gently point that out—when Tim dips down and lands on his palm as delicately as a bird.

Just like that. Blatantly, without a shred of reservation and like it's just so obvious he should, and as easily as if Shouto were Allen. Not batting an eyelash if he even had one. He's oddly solid for something so small, a full grapefruit-sized handful, and settles his full weight in while he looks up expectantly at Shouto.

Golden and bright as a tiny sun, his mouth splits open finally in an ear-to-ear (if he had them) smile. Entirely delighted with himself and with Shouto, and his long tail swishes back and forth as contentedly as a cat's. ]

Edited 2022-12-09 05:30 (UTC)

[ Timcanpy zips down in front of him, a ribbon of light. Shouto follows the flicker across his hand a moment before he feels the steady weight landing on his hand without hesitation. Daring like an alley cat, he grins up at him swathed in golden light that seems to extend forever.

Shouto finds the comparison fascinating and is easily swept up in his momentum leaving him utterly awestruck. His mouth makes a perfectly rounded 'Oh'.

Cause and effect.

Any reluctance he felt before goes out the window as he's hit with the with the urge to pet him. Just once.

Unable to look away, and struck by the very real weight of him, heavier than he ever imagined when he moved with such grace through the air, Shouto struggles to find the words to convey himself. ]

Can I...

[ Tim wants you to. ]

Can I touch him?

Edited 2022-12-09 06:47 (UTC)

[ ...why does it feel like something is stuck in his throat? There's no reason why that should be. He watched his friends at the Order play with Timcanpy before, so...

Allen watches the two of them quietly, with a soft sort of smile as he's half-convinced that, if he spoke... the words would get stuck. ]

Mn, that's okay. [ Miraculously they don't, but his voice sounds a little wispy. Wistful. He draws his own knees up to his chest and hugs them lightly, watching the two with the faintest curl of an infinitely fond smile as Timcanpy beats his wings a couple times and looks eager. Delighted and so truly happy. ]

He likes to be touched.

[ Shouto, ever so carefully, lowers the hand at the bottom leaving his right palm facing down for Timcanpy to perch on. Why he thought this was a good way of providing a foot rest for the little omen is anyone's guess. It just goes to show how little exposure he's had with handling animals. He has no issue providing them with food and warmth, but actually handling them isn't something he does unless there's a need for it. Handling an omen even less so. He's never touched one other than Kizu and even then it's not common for him to do so, and he rarely ever touched her when she was larger than him.

Shouto brings his hand up in front of him, letting Timcanpy see it before approaching ever so slowly. He watches him for any sign of weariness, stopping inches away from the golden light, giving him one last time to escape.

He remains.

Encouraged by this, Shouto covers the rest of the distance in a single movement, letting his fingers slide down his rounded form and down the length of his tail, making sure not to disturb the delicate wings. ]

[ It's fine if he's bad with handling animals—Timcanpy is good at handling people and working around their silliness. It's why he just went and landed in his hand anyway. He has faith Shouto will figure it out at his own pace.

For his part Timcanpy sits so perfectly still, just watching Shouto as he slowly moves his hand closer. He could be playful or saucy, yes, and in fact usually would be with people close to Allen, but he's also smart and can read a situation better sometimes than Allen himself. So he's patient and lets Shouto come to him instead. He's always patient. He was patient when Allen was too broken and full of self-loathing to let himself latch onto others so he became the one thing he could hold onto. The boy who wanted and hold onto something good and kind so badly but was afraid he'd break them, and the unbreakable golem who just wanted someone to love him again. They've always been mirrors to each other like that.

In all lifetimes.

It's why he's so very attentive, staring up encouragingly at him in a manner that radiates such an open and unconditional loving trust, when he finally touches him so tentatively. Peeking up at him as he does so and—becoming a touch rosy-cheeked. Blushing faintly? Yes. In a very pleased fashion as he grins wide. And he wriggles side to side slightly, flicking his wings a few times and tail whisking back and forth a little more quickly when Shouto strokes down the length of it. Like a quietly eager, happy dog.

Good. More? ]

Edited 2022-12-10 00:48 (UTC)

[ When his fingers reach the end, touching air, Shouto looks slightly enamored by the experience in his own muted manner. His eyes sparkle, barely containing the urge to do it again. ]

You're not hard.

[ He manages instead, looking down at Timcanpy with a sort of wonder at the realization. He always thought he'd feel like TestuTestu with his quirk activated. When Allen washed him in the bath, he looked so bright afterward, he thought he'd feel more like a metallic surface, not this. Almost soft. Malleable.

It's only then, when he's questioning every guess he's ever made of his texture, that he notices the wide grin and stops to stare. ]

Why are you red?

[ Why wouldn't he be red? Tim tilts to the side to look at him somewhat quizzically, both for the question and wondering why he isn't cuddling or playing with him. Don't tease him!

Allen... it takes him a moment, but he realizes it's a question he should answer. He'd forgotten how to breathe for a moment there; the strange sort of wave of overwhelmingly gentle feelings that threatened to squeeze his heart still that came at the interaction of the two. Like it was him that Shouto had reached to touch, but not on a physical level.

Is it because you're... not actually Tim but more than that...? ]

He's blushing because he's really happy. [ And also being a little cheeky.

Allen says it very softly though, almost a little disconnected as he digs his nails into his palm quietly to ground himself. Keep his head. ]

Tim's always been very soft actually. And warm.

Edited 2022-12-10 01:35 (UTC)

[ Shouto has taken to watching Allen more these days, and Tim is a part of that. A part of Allen. He may not play with him the way Allen's friends do, but he knows him. Not the one from his world, but the only one he's ever known: his omen.

The one grinning widely at him from his perch, cheeks flushed from... because he's really happy.

His head turns to the side, catching sight Allen from the corner of his eye. ]

So are you.

Soft. And warm.

[ He brings Tim closer, careful not to dislodge his stubby legs. This close, inches from his chest, he can see the delicate make-up of his wings. Somehow, they remind him of Allen's cloak. T

With Tim secured, Shouto steps closer to Allen keeping Tim between them like an object of worship, and leans his head down, pressing his temple to Allen's. Red mixing with white. ]

Are you happy?

Edited 2022-12-10 02:14 (UTC)

[ Oh--

Allen stares at that. At first not quite understanding Shouto's approach with Tim and being taken offguard by the comparison, and then when he draws close and asks that.

Is he... happy? Asking that now--

He blinks, and tears well before he can find words. Staring up in wide silver-eyed awe as he's a bit dumbfounded. Overwhelmed. It's really hard not to kiss you when you do things like that, you know? And the realization just-- he laughs at it, a little helplessly as the tears break away and fall like cracks in a mask. No, not at that realization, but...

This feeling in my chest... I love you so much, you know? But haha, sometimes it makes him such a wreck... ]

Really happy, somehow. [ Although did you have to say he's soft? Still laughing softly, he swipes at the tears for a moment before he abandons that attempt and reaches for Shouto instead. Sliding a hand up the back of his neck and threading it into his hair to keep their foreheads pressed together like that.

Tim stays so still, drawing close to Shouto's chest actually. Like the very definition of an omen or totem of sorts, and just pressing back against him as he peers up at Allen with a poignant, impassive face. Understanding. A warden between both their hearts. ]

When I think about where I want to be, if this is my life now and there can be a "next year" me to become... [ He smiles, tipping his face back and nuzzling gently at him. Letting his lips slowly ghost over and trace outline of Shouto's in a not-quite-kiss as he continues to speak. ] Thinking about being able to be here with you for it...

[ Ah... they're flowing freely, his tears. He's never been one to regret his honest feelings though, and just lets his eyes close as he leans up to press his forehead back to Shouto's in silent, palpable yearning. I want--

No, I feel that... ]

...it makes me so happy I feel like I might cry.

Edited 2022-12-10 03:27 (UTC)

[ His stomach drops. This close, he's witness to the first tears welling up at the corner of his eyes. Alarmed, he breask the delicate connection to better look at him. Read him.

What's wrong? Instead of drawing back, he comes forward. They huddle against each other with Tim in the middle up until Allen cuts through the tension with a--

You're laughing?

Shouto outright stares, seeing him in new light as he speaks. The words don't all make sense to him, but the feeling is there, clear as a moonlit night.

You...

He sets Tim down on top of Allen's head, but not without first running a finger down the length of his tail one last time, no longer hesitant. Something's clicked inside him, switched over, and Shouto follows the feeling with single-minded purpose.

He threads his fingers through his hair, admiring the length that told the story of their time together. From their first meeting to this moment. A year held neatly in a strand of hair.

Strands.

His fingers get lost in them before they come down to cup his face in his hands as he locks eyes with Allen. A thumb runs across his cheek in a slow back-and-forth pattern disrupting the streak of tears but not wiping them away. There's no need to. He accepts them as he does everything about Allen. Instead, he focuses on that feeling. Lets it carry him forward to press a kiss beneath his lid where the first stroke of that delicate red line starts. He lingers there for just a second before pulling back to deliver a second kiss on the other side. ]

You are beautiful.

[ He smiles faintly. A quiet abode for his feelings for him. ]

Edited 2022-12-10 05:02 (UTC)

[ Beautiful? He's a mess and he knows it, but he laughs helplessly in a quiet sort of joy to hear that. It spills out; nothing he could stop even if he tried. Truly, truly so joyful and feeling so rarely carefree.

(When was the last time he ever laughed quite like this or as often as he's caught himself of late? He's changed. His heart's felt lighter.)

Shouto doesn't quite get to set Tim on his head. As soon as he strokes his tail a final time and lifts to place him, Timcanpy takes flight and immediately becomes smoke. Slipping back inside of Allen as easily as a diver slipping beneath the water in a rare moment of returning to him, like he's riding in on the slight thrill of the contact that sets something to life in Allen.

His hands come up to settle at Shouto's waist, finding a favorite spot to rest them just over the slight rise of his hips as he's kissed so sweetly. Leaning into it and turning his head slightly at an angle to let him do so more easily, he'd almost cry again at how beautiful the gesture is. He doesn't though, the tears slowly coming to a stop as his fingers curl lightly into the fabric of Shouto's shirt and holding onto him like a tether.

You're such a good person... I don't know what to do sometimes when you make my heart feel so full. ]

What about you? [ Allen drags his attention back though, to such an important other part of that, pale grey eyes bright from laughing and shining from the lingering tears still. Speaking softly as his right thump rubs an invisible, thoughtful pattern at his side. He thinks he knows, but... ]

Are you happy? Shouto.

Edited 2022-12-10 05:55 (UTC)

[ The sound of Allen's unfettered laughter feels like home to Shouto. Not the one back in his world, but the one he carved out from a city of blood. When he first washed up, out of the water, over a year ago, he wouldn't have fathomed his life would take this turn. He knew how to survive. Be of use. Follow his goals. But he barley knew how to be a friend let alone this. What he had with Allen.

After a year, it almost feels like he's grown up so much. But was he happy? He thinks of his mother. His sister. His brother. Could he be happy without them in his life again? ]

I'm content.

[ He answers honestly, brushing his lips against Allen's temple, then drops down to his nose. His lips. He lingers there, smiling into the kiss that feels more like a necessity with every iteration. ]

With you.

Edited 2022-12-10 06:48 (UTC)

[ It wasn't something as simple as that, Allen knew that much without even needing to fully understand the situation. He had family, real family other than his brother here who was a complicated affair in his own right, that were important and defining and he was used to being there even if it wasn't the joyous thing Allen considered family to be and had put on a pedestal his whole life. Let alone then how punishing and dim the whole of the Waking World can be, how jarring it can be to a lot of people.

But then, doesn't that make what happiness you can find all the more special?

He smiles into the kiss too, content himself at that answer and warmed, and brings his hands up to cup Shouto's face lightly. Setting his mouth more firmly to his, he asks permission with a soft brush of his tongue along his lip before he deepens the the kiss, doing so so very slowly and sweetly as a response. Leaning his whole body into it and letting time disconnect for a moment.

Haha... are they so bad they can't even go this long without reaching for each other? Really. It's gotten worse, each touch or kiss just making him want more. He'd judge himself so hard if it weren't for the fact he doesn't judge things born from his gentler feelings. Doesn't judge anything that feels so loving and accepting. Natural.

There is a stray thought that circles around in his head though, that makes him have to pause. Reluctant to pull away though. ]

The tea...? [ Unlike soba, it'll get cold. ]

[ Family would always be a complication in his life. One he wouldn't turn his back on again. He spent so many years accepting the way things were, growing angry with every passing year, he couldn't ever go back to that kind of existence. Maybe that's why he prioritizes his feelings when it comes to his relationships. Why he doesn't mind the tangents they take when it means he can be with Allen like this. It's too easy to get caught up in his momentum, letting it sweep him up and run with it.

Maybe they are as bad as those couples on TV, unable to keep their hands off each other, but is that so bad? He's never cared what others think. His priorities extend to the two of them. His feelings, and in this case, Allen's. So, when he pulls away, instead of pulling him back down, Shouto makes an effort to figure out what's wrong. ]

Tea?

[ He repeats looking half-dazed. If you think he remembers about the tea, you have more faith in him than he deserves. As it stands, he's grasping at straws. ]

Are you thirsty?

Edited 2022-12-10 21:43 (UTC)

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