swellter | INBOX for deercountry

[ He's getting used to a lot of things, including Allen's tendency to kiss him until he forgets why he stopped by in the first place. It's hard to think when your chest feels like it's about to burst. Heat and ice mix in a whole new chorus that leaves him gasping for a breath, yet still in control. There's no more outbursts of ice and fire. No unexpected injuries or flooding. The scales have balanced, at least for now, and Shouto has taken the opportunity to explore. ]

Cold Soba.

[ The reply comes almost immediately after the question. The same as always, without any deviation from his standard. He's a simple guy that way who doesn't abandon what he likes in favor of something new. ]

[ One of these days Allen will recall the cold fire that didn't burn that appeared a couple times when they had and ask about it. It's generally not the most important thing happening at the time despite its unique nature so he just. hasn't and then forgets. You know, priorities. And being a little spacey. One day...

The quick response gets a wry snort from him. He might have guessed that. You know, just a stab in the dark. ]

i figured

i already started on it

[ Also because it's one of the few actual recipes for anything more complex than a sandwich or stew he knows. It works out??? Thanks, Viktor. ]

[ Allen might have noticed the way Shouto tends to rub at his stomach exactly where those mystery feathers appeared. He hasn’t asked about them, and has refrained from using his ice around him not for a fear of getting his hands sliced again, but for fear of hurting him. As for the injury he incurred, the wounds have healed up, leaving behind a few thin scars mostly in the inside of his hands. ]

I’ll pick up a box of pastries.

[ Shouto has a habit of picking up dessert anytime Allen cooked from a local shop. The shopkeepers knew Allen by name now, even though it was Shouto who often asked about new sweets. ]

Edited 2022-11-17 17:45 (UTC)

[ Does he notice? He jumps a little every time, usually with something that very much resembles a squeak until he realizes it's his scar that has his attention. He just gets a little quiet then, watching him as if waiting for him to say something or trying to get a read on his expression, and tries not to squirm. Tries to find a way to distract him instead that may or may not involve kissing his hands instead.

Which, the scars Shouto has... after he realized how he got the wounds he's been fussing over them all month, you realize. Quietly, but in the way where he always asked if he could help change his bandages. Something he always did with the utmost care in a very heavy-hearted way without saying a word. He'll probably be suggesting an oil like Lenalee showed him for lessening the appearance of scars soon. ]

okay!!! [ The brazen excitement of a child.

Also, what baker in the city doesn't know him by... well, mostly face but also name at this point? He always makes a point to ingratiate himself with the local bakers when in a new location. There's usually something extra that gets thrown in because of that, too. That Shouto is there picking up things for him probably gets some charmed titters and a couple extra goodies. A far cry from the chocolatiere in Edinburgh. ]

Edited 2022-11-17 17:57 (UTC)

[ There’s no questions or change of expression for Allen to pick up on. He explores the area with the same careful focus he shows any task he cares about, gently prodding the area. When Allen jumps and squeaks that usually leads to Shouto pulling back thinking he’s hurt him. That’s usually when a hint of hesitation starts to lurk behind those mismatched eyes before Allen distract him with kisses that completely shift his focus.

It’s the same with the bandages.
Shouto has no qualms letting him change the dressing. It’s one of the few times he’s seen Allen go quiet which earns a great deal of interest from him. Mostly in the way he outright stares at him throughout it all.

A half smile forms at the corner of his mouth as he reads the text. Some of his classmates texted in the same excited tone, something Shouto has found a newfound appreciation for. ]

Have a good day, Allen.

[ Then it's a good thing he's very good at being distracting, isn't it. He has even more reason to when Shouto pauses and looks hesitant; it's a compulsive need to reassure on Allen's part then.

It takes a moment before his reply comes, picture first. He had to first explain it to Tim with a series of gestures and pantomiming. ]

[ He got a little close. ]

you too

[ He heads back to work with that, and with luck there won't be too much flour that ends up all over the place. He's gotten better with practice! And will work very hard to clean up after himself so it doesn't distract Shouto later. Even Tim will help. Probably by sitting his cheek against a wet towel and pushing it around with all his might.

Which is probably how Shouto will find them when he does get home, likely noticing how two trays with noodles have already been finished and are neatly waiting on the table by the nook. Chopsticks already neatly set out with more care than usual, some cut fruit that looks like he tried to do something special with the shapes and just failed masterfully, and bowls of rice that are more for Allen than Shouto as it's one of the cheapest ways to fill his own stomach. It's all been arranged rather prettily—not Allen's normal style, as he's usually more functional and about shoveling it into his face.

No Allen or Timcanpy in sight at first though. Not until there's a small clatter that comes from the kitchen—followed by a crash and some light muffled swearing. ]

[ All he see's are teeth before he realizes what he's staring at. Tim? A tilt of his head as he proceeds to stare for a moment, making out the golden form. Did he take the picture himself, or did Allen? He doesn't get a chance to ask when another Hunter calls his name and Shouto quickly closes his omni to help him investigate a strange pair of footprints leading into the caves.

Later that afternoon, after they failed to track down the mysterious figure in the caves, Shouto stops by the pastry shop to pick up a box of goodies the store owner puts together for him. By the time he gets home, the sun has started to set, and he takes off his shoes at the entrance, slipping on a pair of slippers before heading for the kitchen. The sound of something hitting the ground has him picking up his pace, entering through the door to find-- ]

Allen?

Edited 2022-11-18 03:39 (UTC)

[ Allen is exactly who he finds, as Allen would apparently be what fell. Flat on his back rather painfully it would seem, but holding a tea tray aloft with one hand tipped to keep the cups from falling and breaking just barely. The pot is thankfully still on the counter, and it smells like the green tea Shouto generally seems to prefer. Timcanpy is beside it on the counter and... just peering down quietly at Allen. It might be slightly judgemental--or concerned. They both tend to look the same on Tim.

Brewing tea was never really his thing. Lenalee and Link had been much better at it. ]

Ah... [ He blinks, seeing Shouto there and trying to focus on him. It's not entirely effective upside-down, and becomes more cross-eyed than anything. ]

Sorry. I wanted to do something special.

[ He walks into an odd sight by any count, yet he doesn't seem phased by it. His head tilts slightly to the right before he bends down to pick up the tray. ]

Why?

[ He asks a little out of the loop as he offers him a hand to help him up. ]

Edited 2022-11-18 23:16 (UTC)

[ Allen exhales a small, relieved sigh when he takes the tray from him and accepts the hand up. He may or may not smell a bit like over-brewed green tea himself from the splashover. Again, not really the best at it... there's a reason he usually leaves it to Shouto. ]

I missed it a little, but... [ He hesitates as he gets back on his feet, fingers curled lightly to his chest. ] I realized it's been a year.

[ He brushes lightly at a wet spot on his clothes before he reaches for Shouto's hands. As soon as he's set the tray down, at least. ]

So I wanted to do something special.

[ There's a reason he keeps a tea set in the corner of the room. It's one of the few things he can make that's actually enjoyable to consume. Nothing like the jams he made a few months. Speaking of which:A year? It takes him a moment to connect the dots. Considering he realized the same thing last month, it's not that hard to realize what he means. A year since you arrived in Trench.

He helps him back to his feet, noting the wet spot on his clothes, and thinks of offering to make the tea while he changes when his hands end up in a steady hold he's grown familiar with. ]

Special? [ He's looking a little puzzled now. ] What did you have in mind?

[ Truth be told he's kicking himself to a little and huffing quietly that this is going absolutely nothing like he had planned. You came home at literally the exact wrong time!!! And... he.. almost dropped the tea. He'd wanted to surprise him more like... you would with a surprise party. Oh well.

Setting his sulking aside, he straightens with an earnest gleam in his eye at the question. ]

Dinner. [ Said very seriously!! Like isn't it obvious? People celebrate by eating together. And that's very serious business. He tried especially hard to cut the noodles even this time!!

--but it's also more than that when dinner itself is already a rather normal occurrence, and he gives a thoughtful hum. Leaning back against the counter, he pulls Shouto closer by the hand and into the comfortable, familiar orbit of being in each other's space. As easily and normally as one might say hello, and his expression softens into a gentle, easygoing sort of smile then. ]

But, mm... I'm not entirely sure. When I realized it and thought about everything that's happened, and what that might mean... I just wanted to spend time with you. [ His eyes flicker aside then, and he's scratch at his cheek if his hands weren't busy holding Shouto's. Maybe a little apologetic, or just sheepish. ]

Dinner seemed like a good start.

Edited 2022-11-22 02:15 (UTC)

[ Dinner? He looks even more puzzled than before. Was he supposed to bring something special? The pastry box he came home with is nice but nothing out of the ordinary. In fact, he's brought home the same pastries before. If he'd known, he might have asked for something else.

Shouto steps into his space with little prompting while second-guessing his choice of sweets. Maybe he could go back and pick something up. The shop is still open for an hour. He takes his hands in his and runs a thumb over the smooth skin in a familiar manner while he listens to the train of thought that brought them to this moment. He still doesn't understand it entirely - Wouldn't you want to invite more people? - but doesn't question his logic. ]

We can start with dinner.

[ He watches him look away and wonders if there's something else he's missing. ]

How can I help?

Edited 2022-11-22 02:54 (UTC)

[ All pastries are special and wonderful and he will wolf them down with joy and gusto. Don't you dare second guess that they're anything less!! Just wait until he sees them and the happy warble his voice will get. You'd think it was the first time Shouto had ever brought any like it home. Every time. But this isn't about him doing anything special for Allen!!! It's the other way around, the other way! Why do you think there's soba. Allen sure has a negative opinion surrounding it that he's learned to suppress for Shouto's sake. Although that has helped redeem the dish for him, certainly.

But he smiles at that, and reaches up to tap him very lightly on the nose. Smugly cheeky in the most innocent and affectionate sort of way. ]

People who special dinners are for don't have to do anything. ♥ [ He even cleaned up after himself so there aren't dishes to be done except for what's already out there! Ha! There isn't even spilled sugar or flour smudges. Maybe that's how he lost track of time...

But speaking of, he catches scent of the tea on his clothes again and gives a rather sheepish quick laugh. ]

Except, well... Ehh, it might be better if you make the tea.

[ Relenting, reluctantly. It's better for both of them, honestly. ]

[ A gusto that surprises him every time it happens. Why do you think he keeps bringing sweets home? Why the shopkeeper knows him by name? It's become routine for him to pick up dessert any time Allen cooks just to see that look on his face. Most of the time, he's openly staring at him while he scruffs down the sweets, a little smile at the corner of his mouth when he starts to make happy sounds. He doesn't even mind his terrible table manners or the way he throws him for a loop with a simple declaration topped off with a bop on the nose that leaves him staring. ]

Did you... make this for me?

[ His eyes dart past him, noticing the state of the kitchen, or rather the fact that it's mostly how it was this morning. No footprints on the ground over a trail of spilled flour. No dishes. No open jar of sugar or mysterious pop of white on his clothes where the flour got all over him. He didn't even see - ]

You don't have flour in your hair.

[ Astounding. Usually, Allen was covered in a thin film of white powder anytime he made soba, not that Shouto minded. He was happy to clean up after any and all flour trails for fresh soba that tasted different from the one he had at the restaurant. Less professional but somehow better. Not in taste, but her always enjoyed eating it more, especially with Allen.

Teal and grey turn back to look at him as questions arise at the slew of evidence he's not sure what to do with. Forget the tea; what's going on??? ]

Did something happen?

[ Did I miss something? ]

Edited 2022-11-22 03:56 (UTC)

[ Did you have to sound so surprised that he isn't a floured disaster? Ouch. ~~His hair might be just slightly damp and indicate he probably had to wash it very quickly.~~ ]

What do you mean, "did something happen?" I cleaned up. [ He huffs lightly; just what are you implying. He can manage things on his own sometimes!! He's a man after all!! (We won't count how many times he's wrecked a kitchen compared to this once.) ]

[ Still. ]

Like I said, it's been a year and I wanted to do something... [ He hesitates at first, before reaching out to touch Shouto's cheek lightly with his human hand. Before sliding down to cup his jaw delicately as his demeanor softens. He lets his eyes close, thoughtful. ]

When I think back to that time... it's hard because it's so complicated, the whole situation. And yet... part of me is really happy too, and I just feel so glad to have met you. So I wanted to do something nice for you. [ He pauses, letting that weigh in. Considers something, watching as his own fingertips slowly trail down to rest at Shouto's neck thoughtfully.

He leans in, conspiratorially close as his pale eyes flick back up and very serious. ]

This is where you should tell me if you wanted anything other than soba.

[ That's exactly what's wrong.

What is he supposed to do if you start acting like a neat little pin with no flour trails in sight? How is he supposed to help? He spent his childhood watching from the sidelines, separated from the people he wanted to be near the most, physically at first, then self-imposed. His siblings unwilling to ask him for help, and Shouto unwilling to make himself a nuisance after he finally gained a seat at their table.

That distance between them, derived from polite conversation and consideration, is what haunts his subconscious. Like a ghost from his past, it unsettles him enough to voice his concern in a soft, self-reflective tone. ]

Isn't that my job?

[ The quiet touch does more to ease his subconscious fears than anything he could have told him. It helps that Allen explains his motivations giving him insight into his actions that no longer feel distant but close enough to touch. Across his jaw. Down his neck. There's a sense of wonder that slowly seeps into his eyes as those fingertips trail down his neck, leaving him breathless. ]

I want you.

Edited 2022-11-22 05:23 (UTC)

[ The chances of Allen being a neat little anything aside from the care with which he takes care of his more important clothing and keeping Timcanpy polished are next to nothing, never fear. He need not fear for his job, it will most certainly always be there.... in fact it's probably been left on the bathroom floor in the form of Allen's flour-caked apron and the clothes he cooked in along with watery paste threatening to clog up the drains from when he tried to wash himself in a hurried panic.

That question surprises him though, coming so strangely out of nowhere, and Allen hesitates. Something about his tone making him wonder if there's something he's missing, and he accepts it more soberly as he shakes his head lightly. ]

It is. [ He says it more softly; trying to reassure even if he's not entirely sure what he's reassuring him for. ] I just wanted to do something more than usual.

[ That answer though—

Allen blinks for a moment, flummoxed and staring outright as Shouto's response just caught him entirely and almost comically off-guard. Before he flushes suddenly, blood running hot and loud in his ears for a moment, and holds himself quite still. Blinks again as his fingers just twitch lightly at his neck. ]

Oh... [ There's a rapid-fire flicker of nuance in his expression. Surprise, amazement, guilt, awe, jitters, shyness... all softening together into a gentle expression as it clicks into understanding. Eyes dropping to Shouto's mouth before he looks back up to meet his eyes, with a quiet sort of seriousness and acceptance.

Is this what "luck" is? Because I feel lucky.

He lets his fingers trace along curve of his throat as his expression becomes infinitely gentle. ]

I just wanted to be with you too. [ His love for food aside, that's all he wanted to every time he stopped and tried to figure out how he felt and what he wanted to do. He just wanted Shouto to be there. Wanted to talk to him about the tangled bird's nest of thoughts in his head and try to understand how he felt too. Wanted to touch and hold him. Nothing else really mattered.

His left handle settles delicately at his hip, and he encourages him to come closer and fit against him with a light tug as he leans in to kiss him softly. As an actual answer. ]

Edited 2022-11-22 06:19 (UTC)

[ Good! He needs to contribute somehow, and Allen suddenly turning neat means he'll have to figure out another way to justify his presence. A feeling that will instantly vanish the moment he sets eyes on that flour-logged drain. You didn't even let the water run long enough to dissolve the paste...

Sometimes he wonders about you. Pot, kettle, and all that. Another aspect of him, Shouto can't quite figure out. It doesn't bother him, really, not when it comes to his cooking attempts. Shouto enjoys watching him cook too much, which is probably why he gets distracted when he's assigned to a task.

Are you done with those?
Almost. And he hurries to catch up. ]

[ It is.

Such a simple answer, yet it's enough to reaffirm his place. He relaxes, the shade of concern replaced by a genial look. ]

We can do something more.

[ He throws his lot with his without question as Allen explores the shape of his face. His hands are soft, softer than his, but that's not what leaves him breathless. It's... all of him. His hands. His words. His motivations. A combination of all that he is in an intimate moment that's becoming more familiar between them. A feeling made tangible in a bold yet sincere answer.

Shouto stares right back at Allen, unladen by societal norms to be flustered by his honest feelings. Maybe that's why he feels no empathy for Allen's sudden red-faced flush that's so distinct on his pale skin. ]

You're red. Are you okay?

[ He leans in, closing the distance between them, concern in his eyes as he tips his head up so he can diagnose his state when Allen delivers his own bold statement that isn't bold at all to someone who grew up wanting the very same thing. To have his feelings met so effortlessly by the very source of his desires is what finally clues him into what the dinner was about. The pieces fall into place, and the hand on his hip only confirms his intuition.

Oh.

This time, there's no hesitation. He meets him halfway, fitting their mouths in a way that's become natural with practice. If he takes some liberties, like picking him up to set him on the counter only to drag him closer, it's only because he's a tiny bit spoiled. ]

Edited 2022-11-22 17:07 (UTC)

[ All this time and you still point out when he blushes and don't understand why?? Although, well... it's not like Allen is ever inclined to explain why he sometimes reddens, and this time is no different when he flusters and huffily mutters that he's fine before he kisses him. Easily and naturally by now, although he squashes the tiny part of him that's a little thrilled for the sidetrack before dinner.

But this is the real reason he's been so restless since realizing how long it's been, you know? Unsure with the itchy desire be together because there's certainty in at least that feeling. It's true that with the exception of the Order it's the longest time he's ever been anywhere, ever been somebody in a place with friends, and even compared to that he's realized it'll fast approach and... likely surpass even the time he spent there. It's a weird, heady sort of feeling for someone so used to always being transient. Even so, the way that makes him naturally turn inward and question what he's doing, is this what he wants to always do and be as it feels less and less like doing what it takes to survive in a strange place day to day—that's all something he'd take in quiet, private stride. While cherishing all the friendships he's made here even more as he starts to realize maybe they too don't have to be a transient sort of thing. It'd be his own quiet but beautiful struggle—

Except for Shouto.

That's what's been leaving him mixed up and uncertain. The rest of it he has experience with figuring out on his own, is easier because it is something where the only decisions that really impact it are being made are by him, but this... Moreover, looking back on the last year, all of this... it's a life, isn't it? And he... honestly never really figured he'd have one. It changes his entire approach to life, honestly. A sense duty and responsibility weren't the same. The future he'd hoped and fought for he never for one second really ever thought about living in. And just being reborn somewhere as a version of himself without being the host for the Fourteenth anymore, without the war, isn't what changed that.

You did. ]

Oh! [ He squeaks in surprise when Shouto picks him up so effortlessly though, arms coming up to wrap haphazardly around his neck for balance as he's repositioned on the counter. Blinks for a moment when his breath comes in a slightly breathless puff, and his legs shift around him as he flushes a bit self-consciously at how thrilled his own voice sounded. ]

[ Why??? That's his question. All this time and you still blush? Maybe if you told him why he'd be more inclined not to do those things! He's not a mind reader, you know! He barely understands what you mean when you do tell him things. Alas, it's probably going to be an ongoing thing. It doesn't help that he's fairly blunt with his observations. No tact, this one.

Shouto already went through his transformative phase back home. Realizing he wanted friends and the awkward phase of a socially obtuse guy trying to befriend people. Thankfully, his classmates were more accommodating than he had a right to expect, and got over that hump. Having spent the last year exploring the vast variety of relationships with new people, having arrived in Trench felt more of the same. He was already in that mindset of reaching out to others, feeling out of place sometimes but working through it at his own pace. It was the same with Allen, at least at first. He still remembers the first time he came across him, naked and hiding it behind driftwood on the open beach.

From that humble beginning, their relationship kept changing. Evolving. The first time they kissed, he was overwhelmed by his feelings for him and lost control of his quirk, hurting him in the aftermath. That, too, had changed. Matured with time. He still felt his quirk act up, but learned to accept it, letting it heat and cool instead of trying to smother it and let the pressure build. It was slow going at first, but eventually, he learned to accept his feelings instead of trying to control them, and with acceptance came an intimate understanding of his quirk. Of himself. Now, he turned his attention to Allen.

Learning to read his many expression was still far down the line for him but he understood gestures. The way he set his hand on his hip and tugged him forward. Come closer. The unexpected sounds that spilled from him before he wrapped his arms around his neck instead of pushing him away. I'm okay with this. A dance of sorts. One, they keep adding steps to without learning the entire set.

Shouto kisses him chastely at first. A familiar dance they're both acquainted with before sliding into a whole new set at a slow and even pace. Shouto's hands skate down Allen's back. He lets his thumbs find the dimples on either side of his spine and breaks the kiss long enough to give them a chance to breathe. Think. He tilts his head slightly, watching him with open eyes. ]

Is this okay?

Edited 2022-11-22 22:31 (UTC)

[ All this time and for as many years as he's alive he will always find something to blush and fluster ineffectually over because that's just how he is. It's less a commentary on Shouto and more one on Allen. How even when it's something that shouldn't catch him off guard it still does a little, like it's something he'll never really be used to and will always find a little breathtaking.

He exhales softly through his nose at the easy way his hands slide down his back though, leaning into the kiss until Shouto breaks it and thoroughly mollified. His eyes flutter open at the familiar way he grips his hips lightly under the loose and oversized sweater he swiped after changing clothes (guess whose), a gentle and hazy pale grey that immediately latch onto his grey and teal, and Allen has to catch himself to keep from following and kissing him back right away.

Who was spoiled, again? You're the one spoiling him so much right now. Lately. Always. And being incredibly distracting right now! He'd be mad except he isn't. At all. These quiet and not so quiet intimate moments of learning how the other liked to be kissed or touched, each layering on top of the last to build up something—he'd be a little ashamed to admit how much he thinks about them or looks forward to the next. So it stays mostly in the realm of things he doesn't dwell too deeply on outside of the moment itself.

Otherwise he might think about where that might lead.

But it feels beautiful. And another facet of something that makes up "home". And he shakes his head slightly, before giving a small nod. ]

Mm. I like this. [ It feels closer, more intimate, and he can hold and touch him more easily this way. Something he makes his point with by leaning forward to kiss Shouto softly. A sweet and lingering kiss as he brings a hand up to touch his sternum, with a slight hesitation born from a painful level thoughtfulness, before lightly sliding it up his chest and following the lines of his uniform. A foot brushing his leg experimentally, before winding encouragingly behind his thigh.

He breaks the kiss after a too-short moment though, though he draws back only enough to be able to look at him—a soft and sooty sort of look through long white lashes thick as snow—and fingers the uniform clasp at his throat. ]

Can I?

[ Then expect him to point it out each and every time until one day it clicks, and he might have something to say about that too. For now, it's only his clothes he notices. Isn't that his sweater? He's grown used to the not-so-mysterious disappearances of his clothes, leaving him with no choice but to buy more at the local shops. With winter creeping up on them, he opts for more sweaters, not for himself, but for Allen to steal later. As usual, he opts for the more classical look that would look more at home on an older man than someone his age. It's not that he likes the style; he's simply familiar with it. The fact that it fits slightly loose on him also means that Allen is practically swimming in it. Somehow, he likes that.

Shouto stares back at him, noticing the shade of grey that greets him, different from the one he locked eyes with when he first kissed him. He tucks that information away, for now, more interested in his answer than the mystery set before him that will take him years to unravel. ]

I do, too.

[ While Allen may shy away from thinking about these intimate moments outside of them, Shouto does not. He doesn't think about them as often as someone his age normally would, but when he catches himself staring at Allen, his thoughts tend to drift in that direction leading him to act on them more often these days. It's taken him a while to act first, but it's becoming more of a theme now. At least when it comes to simple touches, an embrace here, a chaste kiss there. There's no shame in what he feels, so he feels no need to squash those urges or turn away from them. If Allen pulled away, then he would, but that's not the direction their encounters usually end in. This kind of intimacy isn't something he's used to, but it's something he wants to explore more with him. It's not an urge he feels with anyone else, so there's really only one recourse.

The same way Allen lets him delve into this new territory, Shouto is equally as forthright, letting him explore without interruption, observing Allen observing him. Maybe if he knew the implications of what they were doing, he would hesitate more, but even then, it'd only be for a moment because there's nothing Allen could ask of him that Shouto didn't feel a need to give without question, not out of a sense of obligation, but curiosity. Allen isn't the only one interested in what he's doing when his hands run up his chest, tracing the line of his uniform in a way Shouto would never have found half as interesting if it was anyone else. ]

Can you what?

[ If you're going to ask him something, do it properly. He can guess, but he wants to know what it is you want, not just in action but in words, a rarity for him. ]

Edited 2022-11-23 00:52 (UTC)

INBOX for deercountry

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